Original Fiction: Reconcilable Differences

Title: Reconcilable Cultural Differences
Written By: S. Courtney
All Rights Reserved May 2012

“They make my teeth crawl,” I remarked, setting the box down in the living room.

“Huh?” Peter looked up from the box of kitchen equipment he was organizing: first by utility and then by size and then by color. “I didn’t think yours could do that.”

I blinked.

“My what?” I asked.

“Your teeth. I didn’t think yours could crawl. Usually humans aren’t that… sensitive.”

“Oh. Oh, I see. No, they can’t. It’s a figure of speech. Human teeth aren’t made to…”

“Right – I mean, there’s some sensation, I know, but not like that. You really lost the evolutionary lottery there.”

“Why?” I asked, curious. “Can yours, I don’t know… feel?”

Peter turned his attention to another box of kitchen impedimenta.

“Yes, they’re quite sensitive actually. There are some species of us that can even taste the air with them.”

“Really? Air?”

“Yeah, there’s an olfactory element to it.”

“Uh huh.”

Part of the problem with talking to Peter is, even though I love him dearly, and trust him with my life (something that has come up a time or two in our three-year marriage), I can’t always tell if he’s serious. People say Martians don’t have a sense of humor – and according to Peter it’s true. But then, it’s lucky I’m not married to a Martian. They may not have sarcasm on Alpha Centauri Delta, but they do have a wicked sense of humor.

“Peter?”

“Hmm?”

“Are you pulling my leg?”

“Why?” Peter asked. “What happens if I do?”